Radical Honesty


Firstly, this paper does a good job of explaining her topic. She eases the reader in with a decent hook, then introduces her personal issue to tackle. She explains elaborately with outside sources to show that it is a valid problem to fix for herself, and it would be beneficial in the end for others to follow what she did as well.
            She also explains what she will do in her experiment fairly well. Although the instructions are simple – not to tell white lies and fight her impulse to – she recounts her difficult experiences that had trouble telling her complete truth.
            One of the things I mainly liked was her story telling ability. Additionally she was able to recall an atypical situation that you wouldn’t think of, such as when she ended up being completely honest with her ex, and decided to room with him. Like, no one, including her, would expect that. She was also very concise with her wording, careful not add excessive adjectives when not necessary.
            Although her narrative abilities gave this essay quality, her inclusion of external sources was outstanding. The manner in which she included was impeccable; she included quotes and relevant details when she was talking about that topic, or was about to transition. She inserted them in places where it was needed and it was easy to go back into her story after reading a hard, fact about lying or how many people do the same thing as her.
            Her conclusion was solid too. She was able to wrap her idea and how the experiment, despite its short length, impacted her in the long run. One interesting idea is that she questions herself if she would continue with this experiment and if it would be worth it. She answers this boldly at the end, which cleanly ends the essay.
            In all, her structure in the intro bothered me in the beginning as the hook wasn’t very intriguing, but she picks up very quickly as her experiment is fairly relatable. She sucks in the reader into her world, how it feels like to be in her shoes but also validates every point with a source.

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